You know, just the other day I was thinking to myself, "Man, there just aren't enough DIY bands that prog the f*ck out in the middle of their punk jams." Then I put on Eat Drugs, the latest album by LA's Bad Dudes, and decided, "Man, it's probably a good thing there aren't more bands progging the f*ck out in the middle of their jams." Few bands could pull off this eclectic, unpredictable, and intricate mix of punk, prog, and electro without sounding like mangled mess of misplaced influences. Yet, the dudes do it, and do it well. Take "Heterosaucer, for example, where staccato punk rhythms and robot vocals mingle with one break down pilfering Ray Orbison's "Pretty Woman" and another riffing on dramatic, operatic Seventies rock, and somehow these incompatible pieces come together to form one (mostly) coherent movement.

MP3: Bad Dudes - Heterosaucer
BONUS MP3: Bad Dudes - Eat Drugs

Eat Drugs by Bad Dudes is out now on Retard Disco.

Bad Dudes
Bad Dudes Myspace

Retard Disco

Three dollars will get you in to the Grog Shop's low dough show tonight with local up-and-comers Chum (noise rock/noise pop/noise) and Conduct (alt rock feat. members of The Lovekill and Plasma for Guns) along with Columbus' Melty Melty and Sparrows and Arrows. This one will start sometime after 9, or whenever the early emo show lets out.

Look what the RSS Reader dragged in today: mr Gnome's "Rabbits" featured on Pitchfork's Forkcast. It's not every day that one of our Cleveland Rockers makes it on the pantheon of cool. In fact, this is such a rare accomplishment, that most of Google's results for Pitchfork+Cleveland talk about someone named Pitchfork Ben and President Grover Cleveland. From what I gather, this Pitchfork Ben fella was either a staunch defender of the American farmer, or someone who wanted to impale President Cleveland with a pitchfork. And now you know.

Previously on I Rock Cleveland: "Night of the Crickets" by mr Gnome

Thomas Function's Celebration, is an aptly titled upbeat, poppy, and bouncy romp through garage rock, Sixties British Invasion, and rhythm and blues. At first, you may need some time to adjust to lead man Josh Macero's vocals. He comes off like some drunk country bumpkin calling a square dance on Saturday night, then you get used to it a bit, and his holler becomes more palpable, and he still sounds like some drunk country bumpkin calling a square dance on a Saturday night. Ok, you may never get used to Macero's quirky delivery, but at some point you'll come to realize that it's all a part of the Thomas Function fun quotient, and this celebration wouldn't be half the Rock 'N' Roll party it is without it.

MP3: Thomas Function - Conspiracy of Praise
MP3: Thomas Function - Winter Gray

Thomas Function Myspace
Alive Records

You may have heard Weezer's new single "Pork and Beans," and thought to yourself, "Hmm...not too bad. And you may have heard Weezer's Red Album leaked yesterday. So, you may be curious what the other tracks sound like. Resist the temptation. Don't do it. Don't listen to these tracks. Unless they're from some kind of rickroll where Weezer intentionally leaked sh*t versions of album tracks, these "songs" are some of the worst recordings of the 21st Century.

How bad? We're talking Pitchfork 0.0 bad. We're talking, "Everybody get dangerous, BOO YEAH!" bad. Yes, that's the actual chorus from "Everybody Get Dangerous." Can it get any worse than that, you ask? Well, Rivers Cuomo does name drop Gordon Lightfoot on "Heart Songs," along with a handful of other artists who haven't been name dropped in the last 25 years, and then there's the six minute "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variations on a Shaker Hymn)." You may remember that meolody from your days in third grade band class. Brain Bell's "song" isn't too bad...if you like Sugar Ray and LFO. I don't think you could even enjoy these "songs" in an ironic so bad they're good kinda way. They're so bad they're bad, and there's no escaping that sad fact. For the sake of a once mighty band, and for the sake of your ears, we'd all be better off if these "songs" never existed.